Should I Write the Seller a Letter? What to Know About Buyer “Love Letters”

It’s a common question—especially in a competitive market:

“Would it help if I wrote the seller a letter?”

You know the kind: a heartfelt note that says how much you love their home, how you can see your kids playing in the backyard, and why their space feels like your dream come true.

While the intention is genuine, these so-called “love letters” from buyers to sellers are increasingly discouraged in real estate—and here’s why.


⚖️ 1. Fair Housing Matters—And Love Letters Complicate It

The Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, disability, familial status, and national origin.

The problem? Buyer letters often include personal details—photos, stories about your family, where you’re from, what holidays you celebrate—that could unintentionally influence the seller’s decision in a way that appears biased or even discriminatory.

Even if the seller means well, a decision that seems to favor one buyer’s personal story over another’s offer could raise serious legal red flags.


🛑 2. There’s Real Legal Liability Involved

If a rejected buyer believes they were passed over because of what was—or wasn’t—shared in a letter, they may file a Fair Housing complaint.

That puts sellers (and potentially their agents) in hot water, especially if it looks like the decision wasn’t based purely on price, terms, or timing.

💡 Bottom line: Love letters may feel sweet, but they can open the door to big headaches.


🤝 3. It’s About the Offer—Not the Buyer’s Story

As buyer agents, we advocate for keeping the focus where it belongs:

  • Offer price

  • Contingencies

  • Financing strength

  • Closing timeline

These are the elements that should drive a seller’s decision—not who has the cutest dog or the most touching life story.

Keeping the offer clean, clear, and professional also protects you as a buyer.


📜 4. The Industry Is Catching On

In fact, some states—like Oregon—have passed laws banning love letters entirely. Many brokerages and MLS platforms now recommend or require that all offers exclude personal buyer narratives.

At Big Frontier Group, we follow best practices that keep our clients legally protected and ethically represented—without losing the human touch that still matters in every transaction.


🧠 So, What Can You Do Instead?

You can still make a strong impression—without crossing any lines.

✅ Make your offer terms as attractive and solid as possible
✅ Work with your agent to write a clear, well-presented cover letter summarizing the offer highlights
✅ Be prompt, communicative, and flexible where it counts
✅ Let your actions, not emotions, tell the story


🗣️ Final Word from Our Team

We get it—real estate is personal. You’re not just buying a structure; you’re imagining a life. And it makes sense to want to share that with a seller.

But the best way to earn trust—and win the deal—is to show up with a solid offer, a well-prepared agent, and respect for the process.

We’re here to help you craft an offer that speaks volumes—without saying the wrong thing.

📌 Learn More About Buying a Home

Let’s write the kind of offer that gets you the keys—no love letter needed.